Drawing: John Malkovich

John Malkovich001

I’m sure being inside the head of American actor, writer, director, producer and fashion designer John Malkovich would be a fascinating, if not a disturbing space to be. I would settle to be in a space beside him for as long as it took him to sign and dedicate my sketch. That space happened to be The Barbican in central London on a Saturday in mid-June 2011. Like his imagined persona, JM can offer a variety of responses to graph – both auto and photo – requests. One thing I did find out from the zombies, who were circling the foyer in numbers, Mr Malkovich walks in the front door – no sneaking in side entrances for him. His signature used to be recognisable in the early ’90’s – all letters formed in the conventional manner as per the English alphabet, spelling out his name. Now it looks more like the print out from a cardiograph machine.

John Gavin Malkovich has appeared in over 70 motion pictures, spanning a 30 year career. He’s also directed and produced a few and written a screenplay. To complete his Renaissance-man image he set up his own fashion company, ‘Mrs Mudd’ in 2002. Among other things it includes the John Malkovich Menswear Collection called ‘Uncle Kimono’ and he designs the clothing himself.

He was hopefully entering the front door of The Barbican that Saturday afternoon in mid-June to take part in a Q&A following a screening of DANGEROUS LIAISONS . He was also performing a two-day season of the unusual one-man play, THE INFERNAL COMEDY, playing the role of the notorious Austrian serial killer-Jack Unterweger. It was a solo acting part… along with a baroque orchestra and two sopranos, singing arias about murder and abandonment. Not one of your cheeriest days in theatre. So, would he be in character-method acting? Pretty hard to get a graph from a serial killer…without some fatal injury.

As it turned out, Mr M was already in the building, possibly using a side door and was wandering around the foyer, talking on his cell phone… followed by a line of autograph hunters. It resembled the Pied Piper. I decided to remain in one spot and watch the carnival, which eventually came past me.. and stopped… because the prey stopped. He saw my sketch, completed his call and asked me if I wanted it signed by him – a novel reversal to the norm. He did so with his cardiogram sig and dedicated it, as well as signing a BEING JOHN MALKOVICH film poster. Then his phone rang and he popped back on it and the procession started all over again around the Barbican foyer on that bright Saturday afternoon in mid-June.

Drawing: Sir Alec Guinness – the theatrical Jedi Knight

Alec Guinness001

In a galaxy far, far away… actually, in 1994, I drew a quick caricature of Sir Alec Guinness. In the absence of a stage door to stand at or a reliable agent’s address, I found out that he was a member of The Garrick Club, Charing Cross Road in London. I was in the city at the time, so I made a couple of copies, wrote a note and left it with a stamped self addressed envelope before heading back to New Zealand.

This month I read that the British Library had recently bought 1000 letters and 100 volumes of his hand written diaries from his family for £320,000. The archive will go on display next year.

Catherine Ostler in the Daily Mail wrote: “To some fans, Sir Alec Guinness will always be remembered as Obi Wan Kenobi, the sagacious Jedi Knight of the Star Wars films. To others, he is The Bridge On The River Kwai’s resolute but misguided Colonel Nicholson.

These and other brilliant performances — in Ealing comedies, Lawrence Of Arabia, Dr Zhivago and TV’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy — should surely have left him secure in the knowledge that he stood at the pinnacle of his profession. Yet his private writings, previously unseen by the public, reveal this titan of the screen and stage to have been a flawed, insecure man who found release in petty malice.”

Nobody escaped his barbed comments, from the Queen down. Even the great Sir Laurence Olivier. For more than half a century they shared the accolades as the greatest actors of their generation, but behind the scenes a poisonous rivalry existed. He called his fellow thespian “cruel, unpleasant, destructive and pretentious.” He did, however, balance that by praising Lord Larry as a “total actor – technically brilliant.”

It is common knowledge he disliked the Star Wars trilogy and would throw away fanmail associated with it. he called it “fairy-tale rubbish”. In spite of an Academy Award and Golden Globe nomination for his role, the theatrical knight wanted the Jedi Knight killed off and convinced George Lucas that it would make the character stronger (and he wouldn’t have to go on speaking that bloody awful, excruciating, banal dialogue, he confided).

The Star Wars films did, however, provide an income for the rest of his life. While he hated the films, he was shrewd enough to realise that the public wouldn’t, so struck a deal for 2% of the gross royalties, along with his initial salary. The franchise went on to become one of the most successful ever. He later said, “I have no complaints, I can live the rest of my life in the reasonably modest way I am now used to and I can afford to refuse work that doesn’t appeal to me.”

One person who he did like, and who sympathised with him was co-star Harrison Ford. Apparently, he said to the director, “George, you can type this shit, but you can’t say it!”

There was no doubt Sir Alec was a complex man – a shy introvert who shone on stage and screen. Melvyn Bragg said he was the weirdest, strangest person he’d ever interviewed. But, back in 1994 he signed my drawing and added some self-mockery. Six years later he passed away,aged 86.  I wonder if I’m mentioned in his diary dispatches. A visit to the British Library next year could be worth it. The force (and the graph) is indeed with me, always.

Drawing: Alex Jennings and Richard Griffiths in The Habit of Art at The National Theatre

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RIP Richard Griffiths.

Although known as a ‘grumpy signer’ by the autograph collecting ‘fraternity’ – I guess it was one of the unique features of getting a Griffiths ‘graph with the gruffness, I personally always enjoyed meeting him and never had a refusal. He had one of the nicest signatures – full name, well scripted and always consistent.

He signed this sketch at the National during his season of The Habit of Art in January 2010. I was waiting at the stage door after an evening performance with a number of other hopefuls – a mixture of zombies and audience members. Richard eventually came out. I was standing on my own to the left of the exit. He stopped and started to roll a siggy a ciggy. After a few moments he turned to me and said. “I’m just having a cigarette.”
“Feel free,” I replied.

A little while later he said, “Have you got something for me?”
“I have.”
“What is it?”
“A sketch,” I said
“Oh.”

More minutes passed. I think I was the ‘graph guinea pig that evening, testing Richard to see if he was ‘in the mood’.

“Can I see it?” he asked.
“Sure,” and I showed it to him.
“Very good. Do you want me to sign it?”
“To Mark,” I told him and handed him the Sharpie. He did the siggy, finished the ciggy, hopped in the waiting car and left. I wonder if he’ll sign for God?

Drawing: Danny Boyle

Danny Boyle

I like Danny Boyle’s style. The Lancashire born director is the most down to earth celebrity I know. In spite of a trophy cabinet including every major film gong and co-ordinating the Opening Ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics, he also turned down a Knighthood.

He returned to his theatrical roots in 2011 to direct Frankenstein at the National Theatre. On the opening night he signed for me. Actually there were two opening nights (World Premieres) as the two leads – Johnny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch – alternated the roles of ‘the creature’ and Dr Frankenstein.

He wore casual clothes and mingled with the minions in the Olivier Theatre foyer. I did this quick sketch and approached him. He smiled and said, “that’s great.” He was more than happy to sign it, confirming his humanity and humility. I asked him why he alternating the leads, he said, “you’ll see”.

I watched the show on the theatre monitor in the bar. Cumberbatch played the creature. If a ticket had been available I would have returned to see Miller in the same role, so I could see what Danny meant.

Drawing: Martin Freeman in Clybourne Park at Royal Court Theatre

Martin Freeman002The Moêt British Independent Film Awards were held at the Old Billingsgate Fish Market in the Shadow of Tower Bridge in December 2010. This time I was on the other side, covering the event for the Irish World – always awkward asking for ‘graphs when you’re interviewing the stars and supping on the sponsor’s product!

However, Martin is one of us: normal, nice and no expletives deleted. I had a couple of sketches on me from his role in the award winning Royal Court play Clybourne Park.

As a member of the forth estate one has to remain professional at all times… so I politely showed Martin the sketches and and said I could send them to his agent. He said “I’ll save you the stamps,” and we had a brief chat about his upcoming trip to Middle Earth (New Zealand) to play Bilbo Baggins in Peter Jackson‘s Hobbit.

As I write this, I discover that Martin has just won the Best Actor perspex trophy at the Empire Film Awards across town at the Grosvenor Hotel, for his Hobbit role, beating Lincoln and James Bond (Daniel Day Lewis and Daniel Craig).

 

Drawing: Sir Ian McKellen in Waiting for Godot at Haymarket Theatre Royal

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Yes, Gandalf himself, Sir Ian McKellen signed for me in February 2010. He was performing in Waiting for Godot at the Haymarket Theatre Royal. Lovely man, great play.

Drawing: Alan Rickman, Lily Rabe, Jerry O’Connell, Hettienne Park and Hamish Linklater in Seminar on Broadway

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Alan Rickman originated the role of Leonard,a caustic professor in Theresa Rebeck’s SEMINAR, which had its World Premiere at the Golden Theatre on Broadway in April 2012. The play revolves around Rickman’s character conducting a ten-week-long writing seminar for four young novelists. I had met Alan a few times and I don’t think signing is one of his favourite chores, but he was very pleasant to chat with.

Many years ago I tried for a graph through the mail and was politely refused by his agent. I sent the sketch, thinking nothing to lose… except the sketch, of course! He was obviously signing at the stage door, but sending stuff to the venues is hit and miss, depending on their policy for unsolicited mail. To my delight the sketch was not only returned, pronto, but dedicated and signed by the other cast members – Lily Rabe, Jerry O’Connell, Hettienne Park and Hamish Linklater. So next time I see Alan, I won’t have to bother him for a sig and can thank him in person.

Drawing: Alison Steadman, Ruthie Henshall, Hermione Norris and Robert Bathurst in Blithe Spirit

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One of the classic stage doors is the Apollo Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue (not the stage door, the theatre. The stage door is round the back in Archer Street). It’s opposite the White Horse pub and the home of 6 million pigeons (someone keeps feeding them). It is quintessential West End, flanked by the Gielgud and Lyric Theatres bordering on Soho.

A revival of Noël Coward’s Blithe Spirit had transferred there after a regional tour in 2010. Alison Steadman had signed the single sketch for me a couple of weeks earlier and I left her a copy. She was talking to the guy who feeds the pigeons, so I asked if she could sign the cast sketch. She was more than happy to, saying “we all really love your work, it’s excellent, thank you,” which was nice to hear.

Ruthie Henshall was already in… in fact, if I went to the first floor of the White Horse I would be on the same level as her dressing room and could get her attention… but no, that could lead to a conviction. Ruthie, apart from being a West End and Broadway star, dated Prince Edward “solidly for two years, on and off for five years”. Because it wasn’t public knowledge she was often ‘smuggled’ into Buckingham Palace. The relationship ended because she didn’t want to give up her career, but she did attend the Prince’s wedding to Sophie Rhys Jones in 1999.

TV star Hermione Norris was on her phone to a family member (I guessed), so I waited, but she multitasked and signed while she was still talking. I apologised, but she said, “not a problem,” and went inside. Very nice lady.

Her Cold Feet co-star Robert Bathurst is usually the last… and late. “He bikes,” said the stage door manager. Now, that’s running a few gauntlets at that time of night in the heart of London. But his understudy was reprieved again and he arrived in tact. He duly signed and wheeled his bike into the theatre.

Since it was a very pleasant May evening I ensconced myself at the White Horse to partake of their hospitality until the show ended and Ruthie left in the conventional manner (not needing to employ the covert operations of her royal courtship days). I got her coming out, so to speak, to complete the set.

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Drawing: Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act at London Palladium

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Caryn Elaine Johnson, better known as Whoopi Goldberg, made her West End debut at the London Palladium, playing the Mother Superior in the musical version of Sister Act for a limited run during August 2010. Now, the London Palladium is not stalker friendly. It has two stage doors – light years apart… well, far enough to create a massive inconvenience that not even Usain Bolt could cover in the required time. Then, of course there is the front door. Add to that – Whoopi had no arrival or departure pattern and her car… or cars… didn’t always drive in from the direction of her digs.

All intelligence, and I use the term reservedly, suggested that the back stage door (as opposed to the main Great Marlborough Street one) was the one to target with a window of two hours going in.

Whoopi used a variety of cars, but there’s only one Whoopi Goldberg, so forget the vehicle, stay focussed on the passenger. Crowds gathered at all doors, some waiting all day. I got to know a few of them after five attempts.

I had virtually given up and resigned to leaving the sketch at the theatre for a through-the-mail reply. I was walking from Mayfair, through Soho to Charing Cross Station, not intending to stop by the theatre… but for some reason (addiction) found myself back there. Five minutes later Whoopi arrived at the back door, loved the sketch, happily signed and strolled into the Palladium to don the habit!

And, as a bonus, I also got the drawing below back through-the-mail.

Whoopi Goldberg001

Drawing: Jessica Chastain and David Strathairn in The Heiress on Broadway

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Sending sketches for signing to Broadway productions in New York can be a bit ‘hit and miss’… a bit like the shows themselves. My success rate is about 50/50. Some theatres (theaters in Yankie lingo) pass them, some don’t. In January I sent material to three theatres for signing, so it was pleasing to receive this on back on Saturday.

Jessica Chastain was making her Broadway debut in the revival of the Tony award-winning play The Heiress at the Walter Kerr Theater. The production was scheduled for a limited run, opening in the Autumn of 2012 with final curtain on 10 February 2013, after 27 previews and 118 regular performances.

The story of The Heiress is set in the 1850s. Jessica plays Catherine Sloper, the daughter and only heiress of a prominent New Yorker (played by David Strathairn), who must navigate the terrain of love and regret, desire and duty against the demands of an emotionally distant father and the attention of a passionate young suitor.

Jessica has always been pleasant on the few occasions I had met her at London premieres and award ceremonies. Someone wrote that as a vegan, she wanted everyone to feel that they were welcome on this planet… including signature stalkers (some latitude used in the paraphrase). So no surprise when I opened up the envelope and it was from her.

In 2012 Time Magazine listed her as one of the ‘100 Most Influential People in the World’ and she is considered one of the finest actors of her generation. Jessica was also nominated for every award going for her role as Maya in Kathryn Bigelow’s Military thriller Zero Dark Thirty. The Award’s Season coincided with the play’s season, so her understudy saw more action as Jessica attended the various ceremonies.

The Heiress actually closed a day earlier (Feb 9th) to allow Jessica to attend the BAFTA Awards in London on the 10th.

Academy Award nominated and Emmy Award winner David Strathairn has also signed the sketch. His Oscar nomination was for his role in as Edward Murrow in Good Night and Good Luck. He also has a prominent role as Secretary of State William Seward in Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln.

To demonstrate further Jessica’s love for all things living, she rescued a three-legged dog called Chaplain from a New York dog shelter. A the most climatic point in The Heiress deep in the second half on a February Saturday matinée, Chaplin walked on stage… unexpectedly. He has not signed the sketch, however.